Pedicure & Probe

So Cara dragged me to get my first ever pedicure yesterday and it was a pleasant and traumatizing experience at the same time. I enjoyed having the little woman clip, pick, and buff away any and all things unsightly on my feet. I even enjoyed it when she was massaging my feet and legs, though I did squirm a little bit when she touched my toes (Hey, can't a man be ticklish??). I know, this all sounds like a good time. So what was so traumatizing???

The massage chair they sat me in..... It violated me. :-(

Here's the play-by-play.

We both sit down in our chairs and turn on the massage.

Cara: Hmm... I've never been in a chair that works the bottom.
Will: (Inside head) What is she talking about working the bottom??

I begin to feel something move around my butt.

Will: (Inside head) What is moving underneath me??
Will: (Inside head) That's not normal... AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Will: Cara, I think my chair is violating me.
Cara: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I shed a single tear knowing my life will never be the same...

Yes, this massage chair had some feature that would massage the buttocks. The only thing, is that my chair didn't like me for some reason and tried to massage the center of my buttocks in a probe-like fashion. So as I sit here now traumatized I would like to thank Cara for taking me to get a pedicure. I now know how the people who have been abducted by aliens feel. :-)

Giving Thanks

For those of you that don't know, I had to go to the dentist yesterday and get an infected tooth extracted. Since I made it home from the procedure I have been in a lot of pain. My gum around the missing tooth is now swollen. I have to keep gauze in my mouth to help stop the bleeding. It's a lot to deal with right now and it is not fun at all. Cara and a lot of other people have checked on me and made sure I was doing okay and it has been helpful. I just wanted to take a second and thank you all.

To all of my friends, I am very grateful to know that I have friends like you who I can call on for pretty much anything.

To Cara, thank you for taking care of me and not making fun of me for eating my homemade "baby food" right now. :-)

A Great Moment in Wallace History

On Saturday morning a great moment in Wallace history occurred. What happened? Mrs. Wallace mowed a lawn for the first time in her life!!!

I found out about a year ago that she had never mowed a lawn and I could'nt believe it. I just assumed everyone had mowed a lawn at some point when they were a kid. Well this lady somehow got to skip out on that duty, but she made up for it this weekend. She asked me to show her how to mow so we got up early on Saturday morning. She went around the house trying to put together the perfect mowing outfit while I ran to Home Depot to get her some gloves, protective eye wear, and a nice ventilation mask to keep her from breathing in the grass and dust (she is a bit of a bubble baby, bless her heart). When I got home I saw she had assembled her nice all-white outfit and was ready to go. I gave her a quick overview of how to start and run the lawn mower and then I sent her on her way. I must say I was impressed at what a good job she did. She did such a good job on the front that she decided to mow the backyard (aka The Jungle) as well. So now I have a mowing sidekick to help me get the yard done faster. So watch out because Wallace Mowing Co. may be coming to a city near you...